2008 SLAMMY AWARD WINNERS
Hottie of the Year: Wes Ikeda
Wrestler of the Year: Shawn Michaels
Babe of the Year: Jillian Hall
Female Wrestler of the Year: Lacey
Face of the Year: Shawn Michaels
Heel of the Year: Lance Storm
X-Division Wrestler of the Year: Shane Helms
Stable of the Year: D-Generation X (Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chyna)
Tag Team of the Year: D-Generation X (Triple H, Shawn Michaels)
Storyline of the Year: DX versus Canada (By Ashlee, Brandon, Shev & Jay)
Entertainer of the Year: Wes Ikeda
Outstanding OOC Sportsmanship Award: Shev (Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Christy Hemme) Lifetime Achievement Award: Chyna
The EBWF “green carpet” was emblazoned with the EBWF logo. Fans, photographers and news outlets from around the world stood behind a guardrail, and had already taken snaps of the wrestlers who had gone inside. The show started with a series of flash bulbs and Joey Styles and The King were standing idly in front of the camera waiting for their cue. The crowd was loud behind them and Joey held up a microphone to kick off the show.
Joey Styles: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 7th Annual Slammy Awards pre-show. I am Joey Styles standing beside Jerry “The King” Lawler. Tonight officially kicks off the Wrestlemania Festivities.
The King: That’s right Joey. We’ve already seen several members of Age of the Fall head inside. Kurt Angle made an appearance. Our former women’s champion Melina is already inside. The EBWF Superstars are coming out in full force for this great event tonight.
Joey Styles: Speaking of EBWF Superstars, here to start our evening, Justin Roberts and Lillian Garcia coming to us from the center of the green carpet with two EBWF Veterans Shane Helms and Trish Stratus.
The scene changed to another location. Lillian and Justin were dressed in their black tie event attire. Trish Stratus and Shane Helms were standing hand in hand. Shane in a black suit with purple tie and purple tinted sunglasses, Trish was dressed in a stunning and matching black and purple dress.
Lillian Garcia: Thanks Joey! Justin and I are standing here with two of the EBWF’s most popular superstars. He is a Grand Slam Champion. She is a multiple women’s champion. Trish Stratus and Shane Helms, how are you guys doing this evening?
Shane Helms: You know it’s just really, really good to be at another Wrestlemania.
Justin Roberts: How are you feeling about your IC Title match against Jimmy Jacobs tomorrow night, Shane?
Shane Helms: Well, I’m feeling good about it. I just never can tell really, it’s about the energy of the crowd. I think Florida is going to stick it to me tomorrow night just as much as I plan on sticking it to them, so it’s really just a matter of seeing.
Lillian Garcia: Trish, you had a baby recently, how’s she doing? You look fabulous by the way…
Trish Stratus: Thanks Lillian! Yeah, Teagan is 3 months old. She’s gorgeous…
Shane Helms: Seriously, have you seen her parents? No, she’s a miracle. But Mom and Dad are excited to have a bit of a date here tonight too.
Trish Stratus: Yes, there is that.
Justin Roberts: Trish you return to action tomorrow night? What are your feelings on a return at Wrestlemania?
Trish Stratus: I’m nervous. I’m definitely feeling the pressure. Karen, Joanie, Lacey… they’ve all done such a great job heightening the women’s division while I’ve been away, I’m really excited about finding my place in it again. I’m not worried though. This is what we do.
Lillian Garcia: A huge thanks to the lovely Trish Stratus and the always funny Mr. Helms for talking with us. Jerry and Joey are on deck with Babe of the Year nominee, Women’s Champion, Karen Angle. Take it away guys.
Joey Styles: Thanks Lillian. Karen Angle, some would call your arrival to the EBWF pretty special. You were received with open arms, and you now hold the women’s championship. How do you feel about your work in the EBWF thus far?
Karen Angle: Well, I think that I made quite the impact upon my arrival. I was a little disappointed in falling off of the radar, but I definitely made a comeback in winning the Women’s Championship, and I look forward to seeing whether or not Jillian can retain her number one contendership tomorrow night.
The King: You’re also a fan favorite for the Babe of the Year Award tonight. What would winning the Babe of the Year Award mean to you?
Karen Angle: I think females in wrestling have to have a total package. Winning would mean a lot to me simply because I’m honored to be nominated with these beautiful women who work their butts off day in and day out. Joey, King I’m going to go hang out with the fans! Thanks so much for the interview…
Joey Styles: EBWF Women’s Champion Karen Angle! Stepping over here right now is former EBWF World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy! Jeff it’s such a pleasure to see you at the Slammy Awards tonight.
Jeff Hardy: I come out for this every year. I’m nominated for a few. It’s good to be back here at home with the EBWF fans.
The King: You face Triple H and Bret Hart for the world championship tomorrow night at Wrestlemania. Are you feeling nervous at all?
Jeff Hardy: The ladder match is kind of my forte. Bret doesn’t know a thing about the new school ladder matches and I kind of get the idea that Hunter is a little bit out of his element. But tonight is the night that we put our differences aside and celebrate all of the strides we’ve made in the last year.
Joey Styles: Jeff, are you here to stay?
Jeff Hardy: There are definitely a lot of talks and a lot of great things in the works, so now that I’ve cashed in my Money in the Bank Shot there’s a whole helluva lot more for me to do. We’re going to make those decisions once we get back to St. Louis next week.
The King: Thank you Jeff Hardy. Jeff will be in the main event tomorrow night, with Bret Hart, and another man who just happens to be standing by with Lillian Garcia and Justin Roberts down on the green carpet! Lillian…
As the camera flipped to Lillian and Justin the green carpet was bustling with EBWF Superstars and the crowd erupted so much so that Triple H was forced to turn around and look at them again. He didn’t acknowledge them however, impressed as he was, he’s still Hunter.
Lillian Garcia: We’re standing here with Triple H and Chyna…
Triple H: I think we’re sticking to Hunter and Joanie tonight. You know… somethin’ different…
Lillian Garcia: Well while I’ve got you here, Joanie you’re not on the card tomorrow night. What are Chyna’s plans for Wrestlemania?
Joanie Helmsley: I think this is just Hunter’s weekend. There’s going to be some DX stuff I think, but I’m excited about seeing a Triple Threat Ladder Match tomorrow night?
Justin Roberts: How do you react to all the obvious adoration going on around you?
Triple H: I think Ikeda just got out of his Limo over there somewhere, people generally hate me. So, uh… those cheers aren’t for me.
Justin Roberts: Is Joanie going to be at ringside during your match tomorrow night?
Triple H: I stopped speaking for her somewhere around 1999. You can ask her…
Joanie laughed and answered Justin’s question.
Joanie Helmsley: I think I’m going to go ahead and play wife tomorrow night, find a seat on the floor somewhere and watch Triple H win the world title.
Lillian Garcia: That sounds like a lot of confidence.
Joanie Helmsley: Confidence comes with a fair amount of uncertainty. We’re taking home the win tomorrow night.
Triple H: She’s a walking Triple H billboard. Don’t pay this crazy woman any attention. We’re going to go out there, put on one hell of a show, and see what happens.
Justin Roberts: Hunter and Joanie Helmsley, a big thank you for your time. We’re going to have to head inside, but before we do we’ve got time for one more interview. We’re going back down to Joey and King, standing by with EBWF Chairman, Wes Ikeda! Guys?
The shot returned to Joey and Jerry, standing with Wes.
Joey Styles: Wes Ikeda, year after year you beat your own records with Wrestlemania. How are you feeling on the eve of the biggest show of them all?
Wes Ikeda: It’s hard to believe this is my fifth Wrestlemania. The people of Orlando have been amazing! I’m fired up for tomorrow night.
King: Do you have a favorite for the World Title tomorrow night.
Wes Ikeda: Of course I do.
King: Well, who is it?
Wes Ikeda: It would be very unfair of me to tell you wouldn’t it?
King: The lovely ladies in the audience would probably love to hear your take on it. We hear they’re very excited to see you out here alone tonight.
Wes Ikeda: And I am very excited to have my spotlight to myself! It’s certainly about time.
The three men shared a laugh and Joey continued.
Joey Styles: You got any tricks up your sleeve tonight Mr. Ikeda?
Wes Ikeda: No sir, I don’t need any tricks. We’re going to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments tonight. I’m going to save all of my tricks for tomorrow. I’m going to head inside King, Joey, thanks for your time.
Wes walked off camera and back toward the fans at the barricade to sign autographs.
King: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is about that time. The Carr Performing Arts Center is opening it’s doors to the fans. The Superstars are inside. We’re going to hand it over to the boys in the production truck.
Joey Styles: Thanks for tuning in to the EBWF Slammy Pre-Show for all of us at EBWF, thank you! And we’ll see you tomorrow night at Wrestlemania!
The scene faded to black and flashed the EBWF Logo.
The EBWF Logo faded and the scene opened inside the Carr Performing Arts Center in Orlando, Florida. An announcer voice filled the hall.
Welcome to the 7th Annual EBWF Slammy Awards! With Appearances by Karen Angle, Tyler Black, The 9th Wonder of the World Chyna, CM Punk, Dawn Marie, Jillian Hall, The Charismatic Enigma Jeff Hardy, The Hitman Bret Hart, Teddy Hart, Shane Helms, Christy Hemme, Wes Ikeda, Jimmy Jacobs, Chris Jericho, Ron Killings, Lacey, Paul London, Maven, Shane McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, HBK Shawn Michaels, Nattie Neidhart, Randy Orton, Beth Phoenix, MVP Montel Vontavious Porter, Dusty Rhodes, Samoa Joe, Lance Storm, Trish Stratus, and The Game Triple H! Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome three EBWF Divas, Christy Hemme, Jillian Hall and Karen Angle!
The three lovely ladies proceeded to the podium and received loud cat calls and whistles from the excited crowd.
Jillian Hall: Every week men of all ages fight for the remote control to see their favorite wrestlers battle it out on EBWF Television.
Karen Angle: And there are those lucky few whose girls will sit right down beside them and watch the action. What’s better are the ladies who come to the live events with their guys, unashamedly sporting their Sex and Violence t-shirts, dancing to the ‘Sexy Boy’ theme music, or flashing a great big sign asking Triple H if they could help him put the Sex…in D-Generation X.
Christy Hemme: Most of the time their adoring fans see them as strong and tough. They’re usually described as bad ass. Except while the men are busy admiring these male superstars for their dedication to the business, most times you can be certain the ladies only have one thing in mind… He’s a hottie! Ladies and Gentlemen the nominees for Hottie of the Year Are…
Announcer: Jeff Hardy, HBK Shawn Michaels, and Wes Ikeda.
Jillian Hall: And the winner is… Wes Ikeda!
The camera panned to Wes who simply shook his head, and laughed as he joked with Shane McMahon. He shot a glance toward Shawn Michaels who gave him a bit of a ‘what do you do’ kind of shrug. Wes walked up the steps and to the stage. He took his trophy from Karen Angle and noticeably kept his distance from Christy Hemme, as the three ladies stood patiently behind him as he approached the microphone.
Wes Ikeda: So uh, the sexiest lady in the room just called me a hottie. Alllll righhhhtttt…
He rolled the “All Right” off of his tongue like a teenage boy who just got passed a note in class. Wes turned around and looked at Christy to send her a wink. The fans cheered at the little exchange and Wes chuckled.
Wes Ikeda: Yeah, yeah you just run to your little rumor sites and analyze that now huh? It seems pretty silly that I win this award year after year, but hell, I can’t be nominated for Wrestler of the year, so it kind of makes sense doesn’t it? I’d like to thank Jeff Hardy for not being as hot as me for the umpteenth time. Thanks to each and every single one of you, for tuning in week after week. And a very special thanks to Next Generation X – who should go to bed now. We’ll tell you all about it in the morning.
Wes held up the award with a thankful nod and left the stage.
Announcer: Presenting the award for X-Division wrestler of the year, please welcome Chris Jericho!
A Y2J chant broke out as Chris Jericho stepped onto the stage dressed in his typical rock-star like attire: a nice pair of black jeans with a silver chain hanging from the belt loops, and a deep red shirt. He smiled out at the fans as he stepped up to the podium.
Chris Jericho: Thank you. The EBWF X-Division stands out because it gives men who might otherwise be overlooked the perfect chance to shine. It gives them a chance to set themselves apart and stand out, and I’m here tonight to present this award to the 2008 X-Division Wrestler of the year. The nominees are…
Announcer: Ron Killings, Shane Helms, and Bret Hart.
Chris Jericho: And the winner for favorite X-Division Wrestler of the year is… Shane Helms!
He opened the envelope and held up the answer with a smile. Shane smiled gratefully as he stood up to make his way onto the stage. The fans applauded as he made his way up to the podium. Chris shook Shane’s hand then handed him the award and stepped aside.
Shane Helms: Wow, guys, thank you, thank you very much. I'm... I'm honestly very surprised to be the winner here. I mean, you look at the other two nominees, we had Ron Killings who's held the belt a couple of times, and Bret Hart who won the title from me. So, yeah, this is an incredible honor to walk away with the Slammy award. But I want to take this moment to address a little something. While I do enjoy the X-Division, while I love the high flying fast paced competition... I don't want to be left behind here. Bret Hart, yes, you're one of the all time greats in this business, you've held world titles in WWF, WCW, and now here in the EBWF. Ron Killings even held the NWA World Championship a couple of times in TNA. And myself, Shane Helms... standing here holding the Slammy for the best X-Division competitor. And while I do appreciate it, I want to vow right here and now, to all of my loyal fans, this will not be the glass ceiling. I've had a couple shots at World Titledom, but they're not going to be the last. 2008, this is going to be the year, I PROMISE you.
Shane stepped aside from the podium and held his Slammy trophy up to a round of applause and cheers. He struck the Hurricane pose for a moment, then stood up with a wide, honest grin on his face. He walked back down to his table, gave Trish Stratus a kiss, and sat down as the show continued.
And now we’d like to take a moment to say farewell to those whom we have lost this year.
Taz – The fat one
Paul Heyman – The fatter one
Vampiro – The boring and somewhat repetitive one.
Julien… may he find a brain during the course of his future endeavors.
Rene Dupree – Au Revoir!
The other Eric – May he learn how to better impersonate others.
Lita – forever another whore in Wes’ little black book.
Alex Shelley :(
The nWo – May the black and white never return and be colorful evermore.
Megan, Ric and David Flair – Hoping the Flair crazy gene doesn’t not rub off on Morgan.
Will and Angel – May they live forever in weird internet relationship, plagiarizing rps cheatingness.
The show returned and the announcer spoke.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Shane and Stephanie McMahon!
The fans who filled the building cheered enthusiastically, but whether it was for both McMahon siblings or just for Shane wasn’t exactly clear. Shane and Stephanie walked out together arm in arm. Shane stepped up to the podium and spoke into the microphone.
Shane McMahon: Good evening. We’re here to present the 2008 Babe of the Year award, and Steph…I’ve got to ask you why you weren’t nominated.
Stephanie McMahon: Well Shane, I’m never on television. You know what they say: out of sight, out of mind. Sadly that seems to be true.
Shane McMahon: Are you sure? I thought it was just because you’re a hosebeast.
Stephanie shot her brother an icy glare, but their banter seemed to be in good humor.
Stephanie McMahon: It’s so typical of men to insult things they’re not intelligent enough to appreciate…
Shane McMahon: And so typical of women to make excuses for their flaws. But back to business. The nominees for Babe of the Year are…
Announcer: Trish Stratus, Jillian Hall, Chyna, Lacey and Karen Angle.
Stephanie McMahon: And the 2008 Babe of the Year is…
She picked up the envelope, ripped the seal, then handed it to Shane who opened it fully.
Shane McMahon: Jillian Hall!
The cameras fell on Jillian Hall whose face lit up. She took to the stage with an over the top smile, and stepped in between Shane and Stephanie.
Jillian Hall: Now who saw this one coming? Me of course! I knew that I was hot, just like all of "you" knew I was hot and when you think about it who else is deserving of this award? No One! Because just like my monster smash hit single "Hot Bread" I’m as the hottest thing since Bread and winning this award just proved it! You fans have done your job by helping me achieve this award and Now I’m going to do my job by singing you a song!! Are you Ready?!!
Jillian broke into a huge grin and started to sing awfully.
Jillian Hall: YOU KNOW YOU WANT MEEEEE-
Stephanie stepped in between Jillian and the microphone, not so subtly blocking it from picking up Jillian’s voice.
Stephanie McMahon: Thank you Jillian…I hate to interrupt what I’m sure would have been a great Slammy moment, but we really must be moving on.
Shane shrugged toward a somewhat annoyed Jillian and seemed to be attempting to calm her down.
Shane McMahon: Before we go Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s have another round of applause for Jillian Hall.
The fans booed, and Shane shrugged once more.
Shane McMahon: Worth a try. Thanks everybody.
Shane, Stephanie and Jillian left the stage.
Announcer: Please welcome…Dawn Marie and Beth Phoenix!
Dawn Marie and Beth Phoenix stepped out onto the stage and the fans gave them a round of applause as they stepped up to the podium.
Beth Phoenix: Tonight we present the comeback of the year award. This award goes to the EBWF Superstar that may not have necessarily left the company but who has returned to a position of success or prosperity. The nominees are…
Announcer: Bret Hart, Lance Storm, and Shawn Michaels.
Dawn Marie: Your winner of this award is... Lance Storm.
She opened the envelope and held it up.
Lance stood up, not looking overly excited but wearing a smug smile. He stepped up to the podium to a mixed reaction.
Lance Storm: Slammies. Didn't WWE do this? Nice. Best comeback... Well, I guess that means I went some way to saving this place. Thus, making me your saviour? Man, I can't wait for jericho_lawsuit.222. I'd like to thank me, for coming back. And the EBWF in general, for giving me the opportunity to repair that rough patch... After all, those ratings can't raise themselves. So... comebacks...
Suddenly, a large figure appeared on the stage from behind the curtain. Speaking of comebacks, it could only be one man...
Bobby Lashley: LANCEY. You didn't return my calls!!!
Lance Storm: No, NO. Not tonight. Not while I'm basking in my glory.
Bobby Lashley: You should have called me back, Lancey. You've upsetted Bobby. What happened to the close times? The special
times? You said Bobby was your special little guy. AM I NOT SPECIAL ANYMORE?
Lance Storm: Heheh… I don’t know what he's talking about everyone! Ignore him!
Bobby Lashley: BOBBY'S GONNA GETCHA.
Lashley charged at Lance full speed and speared him. The crowd erupted in cheers as Lance was taken to the ground by the large character. Bobby picked Lance up, put him on his shoulders in a fireman's carry position and ran off the stage. He proceeds to run through the crowd as they cheered. A true slammy moment. Dawn and Beth looked somewhat shocked and confused as they exited the stage.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the Brothers of Destruction, the Undertaker and Kane!
The men approached the podium to a respectful applause.
Undertaker: Kane and I know a thing or two about what it takes to make it in tag team wrestling.
Kane: Tonight’s nominees consist of two well known tag team stars who came together to form a brand new team. A veteran and a new kid who keep it all in the family, and two seasoned vets who have been kicking a lot of ass together for a lot of years. The nominees for favorite tag team are…
Announcer: Bret and Teddy Hart: The Hart Foundation, Triple H and Shawn Michaels: D-Generation X, The nWo: Syxx and Jeff Hardy.
Undertaker: And the tag team of the year is… DX!
Hunter and Shawn took the stage and Hunter gave his typical grin.
Triple H: So uh...didn't we get one of these last year too? I kinda lost track.
Shawn Micheals: Well, we're just a couple of lucky guys. You might not get up here again tonight buddy. This is where you thank some people.
Triple H: Thanks Shawn...I'd like to. But I don't think anyone else had anything to do with this besides me and you.
He grinned cutely.
Shawn Michaels: Well, ummm... thanks to all of the other tag teams, including Bret and Teddy over there, for completely sucking. Ummm... Cameron and Blaine for teaching us about charisma, those were much needed lessons. We could maybe even say thanks to the fans for voting...
Triple H: Heh, okay. Thanks to all the fans who were intelligent enough to realize how majorly awesome we are. And Wes, for not caring how many times we say "fuck" on national TV. I think I'm forgetting someone...
Shawn Michaels: Thanks to Hunter for teaming with me for a whole decade at this point, and making it seem like I still say such offensive words on television when I clearly do not... I think that's everyone...
Triple H: I guess I should thank Shawn for allowing himself to be seen with a disgraceful heathen such as myself. And... oh yeah! I remember. Thanks to Joanie, for being the great woman behind two decent enough guys. And for making us look a little more glamorous with her great sense of beauty and fashion. I think she was the one who chose green and black, ya know...
Shawn Michaels: And... uhhh... you better believe we're taking this one again next year fellas... and... heh, if you're not down with that... well, you know the rest.
The crowd cheered as the show went to commercial.
It is now time to announce the 2008 OOC Sportsman Award. This year’s winner is Shev!
The EBWF thanks you for all of your help with storylines, site updates, and keeping us going on a daily basis.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Maven, Paul London, and Samoa Joe.
The men walked to the podium.
Maven: Good guys and bad guys. Face and Heel. Time after time the face is the guy you just love to love.
Paul London: The face always gets support from fans all over the globe.
Samoa Joe: The four nominees for Face of the Year are no exception. They are…
Announcer: Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, and Alex Shelley…
Maven: And the guy who’s loved everywhere he goes is…
Maven opened the envelope and shook his head.
Maven: Everywhere except Canada that is… Shawn Michaels.
Shawn looked kind of genuinely surprised and kissed his wife on the cheek before shaking Hunter’s hand and walking up to the podium.
Shawn Michaels: Thanks. So much. You know, Hunter has been telling me for years that I work best as a heel, so I'm going to have to thank Lance Storm for being so utterly and completely despiseable. His sour personality seems to have made everyone else realize that old HBK isn't so bad. So thanks. And to the fans... I know I've had my highs, and my lows. I've delivered you some great memories, and I've let you down. But I always did my best to make sure that when you left the building, the lasting impression was of Shawn Michaels making you rise up out of your seat. I think you know deep down, that I do this for you. And no matter how many boos DX gets whenever they walk through the curtain, I guess that makes me a true babyface at heart.
He held up his award with a smile.
Shawn Michaels: This one's for all of you. Thank you.
Shawn left the stage as the announcer picked up.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the Hart Foundation.
There was a mixed reaction as Bret, Teddy and Nattie made their way to the stage together. Bret stood in the center, with Teddy and Nattie on either side of him.
Bret Hart: The heel of the year is…
Teddy Hart: …The wrestler everyone despises? Don’t state the obvious Uncle Bret.
Teddy wore a sarcastic grin.
Nattie Neidhart: Shut up, Theodore…can’t you be professional for five minutes?
Bret Hart: Hey! How about we just present the award, huh? The nominees for Heel of the Year are…
Announcer: Lacey, Lance Storm and Triple H.
Bret Hart: And the winner is…
Bret opened the envelope, and handed it to Teddy who held it up for the cameras.
Teddy Hart: Lance Storm. Why’s everyone always hating on Canada anyway?
Bret shrugged and the Hart Foundation handed Storm the award as he stepped up to the pedestal.
Lance Storm: What, this means you people hate me? I thought 'Boo' was just a cute nickname you gave me. Well, I'm pretty much the best at everything, so why not being the best at being the back of a foot as well. Well, first of all, I'd like to thank Mr. Wesley Ikeda. Why, you ask? Because he's just so damn good. He made all of this possible; The Slammies, Wrestlemania, you people being able to see me my beautiful face on a regular basis. I'd also like to thank him for being enough of an asshole to give me something to bitch about 24/7, which apparently makes all of you hate me. Dumb fuckers. So, yeah, thanks to Wes for being a complete ass, and me for being a legend. I wish all of you luck in scaling my pedestal, and kissing my ass.
The crowd booed as Lance and the Hart Foundation left the stage.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Ron Killings!
Ron Killings: Tonight we honor the performer who left the company only to return this year and become even bigger than they were before. The nominees are…
Announcer: Jeff Hardy, Bret Hart, and Chris Jericho!
Ron Killings: The winner is… Bret Hart!
Bret shook his head with a smile and gave Teddy a pat on the shoulder before heading to the podium.
Bret Hart: Wow, winning this really shows me that returning to the EBWF back in June was not only the right thing to do, but was the right time to do it too. Coming back after more than two years away was a really big decision for me. I had a lot more to consider than the usual things because I had done so much during my original run... really I had done everything. There wasn’t any reason for me to come back, there was nothing new for me to achieve. Winning this award, and going into Wrestlemania Seven as the World Champion, and everything in between, has really shown me why I came back. I came back for the fans, for the cheers, and for the competition. This Slammy award lets me know I did it all at the right time, for the right reason… thank you!
Bret left the stage with a smile.
I am pleased to announce the EBWF Newcomer of the Year, Tez!
We love having you here! Congrats!
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Age of the Fall.
Lacey, Sterling James Kennan, Tyler Black, and Jimmy Jacobs stepped toward the podium.
Lacey: We’re giving this award because you people are mindless sheep and didn’t think to nominate us for it.
Jimmy Jacobs: So, yeah, here’s the nominees.
Announcer: The Hart Foundation, D-Generation X, and The nWo.
Tyler Black: And the winner is… DX!
The three of them stood up and each of the guys took a turn hugging Joanie. They proceeded to the stage and Joanie spoke.
Chyna: Wow, just... I really, honestly don't think that we were sitting across from each other 11 years ago fully aware of what we were about to get ourselves into...
Triple H: I think you're right. All I was thinking about was the possibility of going to bed with a warm...and female... body that night.
He shot a look at Shawn.
Triple H: Not that you weren't great company.
Shawn Michaels: Hold it right there... I don't think anyone wants to hear about that.
Chyna: Well, at least it was a warm body, it could have been... you know... Katie Vick.
Triple H: She'd have been warm by the time I got through with her.
Shawn Michaels: Hunter!
Triple H: What? That's why they voted for us...
Chyna: I'd like to take over this acceptance by thanking the EBWF Television Crew, the guys in the production truck who literally sweat bullets when DX gets on screen. The guy who operates the censor button, Jake, without him Hunter and I would be borrowing money from Shawn, because we'd be broke... ummm... Wes Ikeda for listening to the fans when they told him that this wasn't stale, and again for letting us go forward with it. To both of my guys for dragging me back into this kicking and screaming... and to the silent fourth member of DX who keeps everything solid on the home front. Becky, this wasn't nearly as much fun before you... and now that we're on point... did I leave anyone out?
Triple H: Nope...I think we're good. Except maybe... I'd like to warn my daughter that when she's old enough to understand what the hell we're talking about, she'd better cover her ears whenever I tell her to. That's about it.
Shawn Michaels: Thank you very, very much.
The Storyline of the Year goes to Shev, Ashlee, Brandon, and Jay for the DX versus Canada storyline! Congrats everyone!!
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, making their way to the stage…Trish Stratus and Shane Helms!
Shane and Trish stepped onto the stage arm in arm, and they were both beaming as the fans gave them a nice enthusiastic round of applause. Trish looked stunning as she stepped toward the microphone.
Trish Stratus: Thanks… so much. It’s now time to announce the Female Wrestler of the Year.
Shane Helms: You mean it’s not you? Shucks!
Trish smiled as Shane wore his goofy grin.
Trish Stratus: Not this year, sweetie. The nominees are…
Announcer: Jillian Hall, Chyna and Lacey…
Shane Helms picked up the envelope.
Shane Helms: You guys wanna know who won right?
The fans applauded.
Shane Helms: That’s what I thought…Trish, would you like to do the honors?
Shane handed Trish the envelope and she opened it.
Trish Stratus: You winner is… Lacey!
The camera fell on Age of the Fall and Lacey. She stood up and made her way to the stage. Trish handed her the Slammy, and she stepped to the microphone.
Lacey: So I am women’s wrestler of the year? Should that come as a surprise to me as the women’s division has been a fish out of water? Melina has been In-active more then she has been active and she was the damn champion until a week ago. Jillian is busy using this business as a stepping stool to hopefully break her personal record of 1 purchase for her EP that was released. Ashley and Kelly Kelly were jobbers and released in no time, Vickie Guerrero couldn't cut it, Stacy got released after one show, Karen wins the women’s rumble and vanishes until she shows up again to become champion... Me leaving the division left it in shambles.
Lacey left the stage to a round of boos, but she didn’t seem to care what the fans thought of her. She rejoined Age of the Fall and handed her award to Jimmy Jacobs. The camera panned the crowd for reactions and Shawn Michaels caught the camera man’s attention and mouthed ‘kayfabe lives’.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, he has been called the king of controversy and one of the biggest generators of cash in the industry, please welcome the CFO of the EBWF Eric Bischoff!
Eric came to the podium, envelope in hand. He adjusted his tie, and then spoke.
Eric Bischoff: In our business there are jobbers, curtain jerkers, wrestlers, shooters... and of course, all around entertainers. To find the perfect mixture of wrestling talent and pure charisma you don't have to look much further than the nominees for the Entertainer of the Year Award. The nominees are...
Announcer: Alex Shelley... Lance Storm... D-Generation X... Wes Ikeda
Eric Bischoff: And the 2008 Entertainer of the Year is...
Eric opened the envelope and clicked his teeth as he looked out into the audience.
Eric Bischoff: We have a tie... DX and Wes Ikeda!
DX were sitting next to Wes, and the four of them all looked at one another wearing subtle grins. Shawn indicated that Wes should go first, and he reluctantly did. The group took to stage and Hunter took the mic first.
Triple H: I'd just like it to be known that this is the first time Wes has ever tied with me for anything.
Wes Ikeda: Yeah, I usually come in first, and you second. So congrats on being as good as me dude.
Shawn Michaels: Actually I usually come first, before either of you.
Wes Ikeda: Kidding aside... standing in front of you, collectively you've got 26 World Championships...
Triple H: And I hate to think how many belts are standing here all together. I can't count that high. And also...tomorrow it'll be 27, just so ya know.
Wes Ikeda: Yes, yes... and despite all the disputing that can be done, what you can't deny is the 61 combined years that the four of us have in this business...
Shawn Michaels: Holy cow, I feel old.
Wes Ikeda: I've got a reputation in this business for being disrespectful, but I've really never been more honored to share this award with the three people who busted their ass to keep you entertained on camera, while I busted mine to keep you entertained off. So for that I thank them, and each and every one of you.
Triple H: Yeah, that's a pretty good point... but I'd like to thank Wes for letting us say whatever the hell we want on his live TV shows...I'm pretty sure we've cost him his fair share of fines.
Wes Ikeda: And your fair share of world title opportunities.
Triple H: Me? No way. I'm a jobber.
Wes Ikeda: I’ll agree with that. I just beat you two weeks ago, but… to be named the Entertainer of the Year is a great, great honor in this company. So I say… keep ‘em coming!
The crowd applauded as the four of them left the stage.
This year’s Hall of Fame induction is long overdue. Please welcome Riley McCluskey to the EBWF Hall of Fame! Congrats Shev and another thanks for all you do!
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to the stage: The Game, Triple H!
Hunter approached the podium to applause from the crowd.
Triple H: So I guess a bunch of you, some of whom are looking at me rather strangely...
He shot Joanie a smile as he briefly made eye contact with her.
Triple H: ...Are wondering what I'm doing out here. Allow me to explain. Every year the EBWF gives out a lifetime achievement award. I'm here to present the lifetime achievement award for 2008. The recipient of this award just happens to be a pretty good friend of mine, and a person who has spent their life pushing the envelope and breaking new boundaries in wrestling. Not just with DX, and not even just in wrestling, but in life. I could spend all night listing this person's accomplishments, but some very talented people have put together a little video package, and I don't want to steal their thunder, so monkeys! Roll the footage.
The video played, and as it came to an end, Hunter turned his attention back to the audience with a smile.
Triple H: In 1996, a woman walked into a bar in Hartford, Connecticut. She came to that bar because the agent she was supposed to be meeting that night blew her off. Yeah, he was a jerk...but I guess he did me a favor, because that was the night I met Joanie Laurer. Neither Joanie, myself or Shawn knew at the time that we were about to change history... but we did, and that was how this rollercoaster started. In the last decade, Joanie has been a four time Intercontinental champion, a women's champion, the driving force behind the most popular alliance in wrestling today, a two time Playboy cover girl...and yeah, she might have pinned me a few times along the way. She's done more in this business than any other woman before her, and she's paved the way for others to follow the same path. She's also been a wonderful friend, and a pretty decent EVP of Programming. So, without further ado, over 11 years later, I stand before you presenting the Lifetime Achievement award for 2008...to my wife, Joanie Helmsley. Joanie, would you come up here please?
She brought her hands to her chest as he caught her eye. She was obviously taken by surprise, and shook her head no at him.
Triple H: No? You lost the right to say "no" when you married me.
There was laughter from the audience and he smiled down at her.
Triple H: I said please... you gonna make me beg?
Shawn leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She hugged him and still looked a little bit disbelieving. Standing up, she took to the stairs and as she met Hunter behind the podium she was met with a standing ovation from her peers and the fans in attendance. She looked at Hunter and told him something that went unheard by the microphone. He flashed her a beautiful, genuine smile as he placed the award in her hands. He met her eyes as he relinquished the trophy and he paused for a moment. Still wearing his stunning smile, he placed his free hand on her cheek and leaned into her, catching her off-guard with a sweet and tastefully passionate kiss. He stood up straight again and silently mouthed something that only she could understand. She smiled at him gratefully and turned back toward the microphone with a hesitant smile.
Joanie Helmsley: Please, please sit down. Thank you. You’ll have to forgive me for marking out a little bit. After 11 years of diligent prayers Triple H just kissed me on live television.
That incited some laughter and Joanie seemed to be looking for words.
Joanie Helmsley: I don’t know where to start, so I guess I’ll start by being the bigger person and thanking the McMahons for giving me the opportunity to work in this business. My appreciation to Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Sean Waltman for making me a stronger person, by never going easy on me in our personal and professional relationships. To my partner and friend Wes Ikeda, who spends a lot of his time listening to my half baked ideas for the EBWF. Your willingness to bring me back to television has hopefully not gone unrewarded. I thank you for the recognition. In our business you’re lucky to find a couple people that you really click with, and I was lucky enough to find those people before I ever even signed a contract. To my big brother Michael – you named me the 9th Wonder of the World, and I have no idea why you’re not up here right now getting this award instead of me, but I need you to know that I am forever indebted to you for my success and your loyalty and honesty have always been a constant reminder of what I can do if I just set my mind to it. This award is for every little girl who was told they couldn’t because they weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, or talented enough. I am here to tell you that you are and you can. And finally, I have to thank the very best friend I’ve ever had..you might have heard of him, his name’s Hunter.
Ruckus cheers from the balcony where the fans were sitting, and Joanie smiled.
Joanie Helmsley: We’ve often heard that behind every good man is a good woman. We don’t live by that philosophy in our house. In fact, I often say that beside every successful man is an equally as successful woman. I work with the greatest wrestler in sports entertainment and I go home with the greatest man I’ve ever met. His patience with me knows no boundaries and that why tonight I’d like to settle the rumors and go on record as saying that there’s a slight chance that I might… kinda be in love with Triple H… you know just a little bit.
She said it so matter-of-factly that the crowd laughed.
Joanie Helmsley: But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to pin his ass in the middle of the ring again… you know… for old time’s sake! Thank You!
The crowd applauded as Joanie turned around and looked at Hunter who nodded his approval of her thank you speech as they left the stage.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, the chairman of the board, Wes Ikeda!
The crowd applauded once more as Wes made his way to the stage he stood at the podium and took in the crowd.
Wes Ikeda: Another year, another successful Slammy Show. It is my privilege, as has become tradition, to give the award for Wrestler of the Year. The wrestler of the year is not only a performer on camera, but a main stage player, a go to guy, and a locker room leader. The nominees for the Wrestler of the Year are…
Announcer: Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and Jeff Hardy…
Wes Ikeda: And the winner is…
Wes opened the envelope and looked at the name for a moment before turning it around.
Wes Ikeda: The eleven year old inside of me just died of excitement… H-B-K.
Sexy Boy hit the PA and Shawn stood up. He kissed Rebecca, and Hunter caught him in a half embrace so they could exchange words over the music and cheers. Once they were finished Shawn ascended the stairs and took his trophy as Wes stepped away from him and did the ‘I’m Not Worthy’ idle worship action. Shawn shooed him away and spoke.
Shawn Michaels: Oh...wow. I kinda wasn't expecting this. But I have to admit, it's a pretty great surprise. Shawn Michaels...Wrestler of the year. Has a pretty great ring to it, wouldn't ya say?
Shawn Michaels: Well, I want to thank my two beautiul children for sharing their daddy with the world. And I want to thank my wife, Rebecca. I hate to be a sap about all of this, but without you I might not even be breathing right now, let alone going out there and putting on a show every night. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being my inspiration and my motivation for everything good that I do. And thanks for not making me sleep on the couch whenever I make a joke that might not sit too well with the rest of the good folks at Bible Study. Thanks to my two best friends in the whole world, Hunter and Joanie, for being funny enough on the road that they make up for the rest of the time when I want to put a bullet in my skull in order to drown out the sound of their voices.
He winked in Hunter and Joanie's direction.
Shawn Michaels: Love you guys. Ahem... oh yeah, the fans, for still giving a broken down old fool like me something to look forward to every time he steps through the curtain. And I don't want to rub this in anybody's face, but...
He grinned and gestured to everyone else in the building.
Shawn Michaels: I am better than aaaaallll of you, world title or not. Take that, Bret!
With a round of applause and the typical HBK grin, Shawn Michaels left the stage. Wes laughed and stood alone on the stage. He looked into the camera. Wes spoke over music as the show was at it’s end.
Wes Ikeda: Thanks for tuning in! It’s been one hell of a show. We’ll see you tomorrow night from the Citrus Bowl for Wrestlemania Seven. Thank you, and Blaine… Cameron… really go to bed, we’ll talk about it in the morning. Goodnight!