The 10th Annual EBWF Slammy Awards went live on USA. The awards show was everything any other one was. Polite clapping began as the show went live and an announcer spoke.

 

Announcer: Welcome to the 10th Annual EBWF Slammy Awards! With appearances by: John Cena, The 9th Wonder of the World, Chyna, CM Punk, Daffney, The Rated R Superstar Edge, Goldust, Nicole Ikeda, Chris Jericho, Brian Kendrick, Mr. Kennedy, Layla, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Randy Orton, Zack Ryder, Dr. Stevie, Trish Stratus, Triple H, Taylor Wilde, Torrie Wilson and more!

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, Mr. Kennedy & Goldust!

 

The Loudmouth and the Bizarre One got up from their table and went to the podium.

 

Mr. Kennedy: Tonight we're here to present an award that we're sure to be nominated for next year.

 

Goldust: The nominees for Tag Team of the Year are:

 

A video package of the nominees began to play.

 

Announcer: CM Punk & Brian Kendrick. Generation NXT: Wade Barrett & Justin Gabriel, Rated RKO: Edge & Randy Orton, The Thrillseekers: Lance Storm and Chris Jericho.

 

Mr. Kennedy: And the winner is…

 

Goldust opened the envelope and a trophy girl was eagerly waiting with the Slammy Award.

 

Goldust: Wade Barrett & Justin Gabriel!

 

Mr. Kennedy: Wade & Justin couldn't be here tonight. We accept this award on their behalf.

 

Goldust: And they just might not get it back, because it. Is. Golden!

 

The tag team walked off stage to Kennedy's music, and the announcer piped up again.

 

Announcer: Please welcome two giants in EBWF History, Kevin Nash & Triple H!

 

There was a huge round of applause, especially from the fans in the upper. Nash and Trips came out from separate entrances on the stage and met at a podium in the center.

 

Triple H: First of all, Kevin, let me just say it's nice to see you here in EBWF.

 

Kevin Nash: Well you know H, I'm most happy to be anywhere Wes Ikeda is not.

 

That got some laughs.

 

Triple H: The two of us know a thing or two about what it takes to be in a successful stable.

 

Kevin Nash: If I'm not mistaken, you were a member of that little group, D-Generation X?

 

Triple H: And you were in the… what was it called again? Oh, right… nWo.

 

Loud cheers filled the men's ears and they continued.

 

Kevin Nash: These are the stables that have made an impact this year.

 

Triple H: The nominees are…

 

Announcer: The Family: Brian Kendrick, CM Punk, Raven, Dr. Stevie, Ted DiBiase & Daffney. Ministry of Darkness: The Undertaker, Goldust, Shelly Martinez & Kevin Thorn. The Oddities: Paul Burchill, Kane, Giant Silve & Great Khali. Nexus: Papa Shango, Michael McGillicutty, Husky Harris and Mason Ryan

 

Kevin Nash: And the winner is…

 

Triple H opened the envelope, looking into the camera.

 

Triple H: The Family.

 

CM Punk was found in the crowd with his fingers crossed, mouthing "No whammy, no whammy, no whammy." as The Family was announced. He stepped onto the stage to accept the award and it was always a little strange to see him wearing a suit. He pretended to wipe some sweat from his forehead before leaning into the mic.

 

CM Punk: I really thought The Nexus had it this year.

 

This drew some laughter from those gathered and Punk took the Slammy into his grasp.

 

CM Punk: That's two years in a row now. What can I say? Not bad for a group that split in November. Guess that makes us better than FedEx ever was. You know it's true, Jericho!

 

Punk pointed Jericho out in the crowd with a grin and added another playful jab.

 

CM Punk: Don't go waltzing your way up here. Settle down. We'll save the dance off for after the show. Anyway, I made a few calculations. Two Sky High Championship reigns. Two No Limit Titles. Two Tag Team Championships. And two World Title Reigns. That's the collected title reigns of the group during it's active days. It helped launch my career here so..I guess I'll just thank myself.

Punk took his award and headed backstage.

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, Michelle McCool and Layla – LayCool!

 

The two divas came onto the stage together, and looked at each other with a disgusted glare. It was obvious they didn't want to be anywhere near one another, so they got right to the award.

 

Layla: Chelle, we're here to give the No Limits Champion of the year award.

 

Michelle McCool: It's time to see which one of these EBWF No Limits Champions the fans found Simply…

 

Together: Flawless…

 

Layla: The nominees are…

 

Announcer: John Cena, Brian Kendrick and CM Punk!

 

Michelle McCool: And the winner is…

 

Both: Brian Kendrick!

 

Layla: Brian Kendrick couldn't be here tonight so…

 

The lights seemed to dim a bit. A large monitor in the building began to roll a clip of the winner. He was seated against a wall in an apartment living room and he carelessly tossed his Slammy up and down.

 

Brian Kendrick: No Limits Champion of the year. It's funny that even with it's long history I was the only person to ever really embody that. No Limits. And..

 

He glanced off camera and looked upwards.

 

Brian Kendrick: Who I am supposed to thank for this?

 

A muffled response came back.

 

Brian Kendrick: I would NOT like to thank the academy. I don't want to thank the fans. OR NBC. Or the Ikeda's. Or Mike Quackenbush. ..Am I not supposed to mention an Ikeda? Wes Ikeda. Wes Ikeda. Wes Ikeda. No Limits, baby. Yeah.

 

The last few words were said in a lifeless drone. Kendrick threw his head back and rubbed a couple of fingers at his eyes.

 

Brian Kendrick: You woke me up and stuck a camera in my face for this? I've got a lot of drugs to NOT do and a lot of piss tests to NOT fail. ..Are you still here? Yes, yes. Thank you for the naked golden, beefy man. Means a lot. I'll cherish it always. Now go come down with something that can't be diagnosed and there is no cure for.

 

Kendrick waves the camera off while turning his head away from it as the monitor soon went dim again, and with it, the Slammy Awards went to commercial.

 

As we returned from the commercial break the announcer's voice filled the room again.

 

Announcer: Please welcome, AJ Styles!

 

AJ came out to the podium, envelope in hand.

 

AJ Styles: I'm out here tonight to present an award for a category near and dear to my heart. The X-Division Champion of the Year.

 

Announcer: The nominees are Brian Kendrick, Zack Ryder, Cody Rhodes and CM Punk.

 

AJ Styles: The winner is…

 

AJ opened the envelope.

 

AJ Styles: Woo Woo Woo You Know It! Zack Ryder!

 

Zack looked very surprised from his table and got up to accept his award. He took it from trophy girl and approached the microphone.

 

Zack Ryder: Wow, this was unexpected! Zack Division Champion of the year!

 

Zack rubbed his chin slowly and smiled at the Slammy.

 

Zack Ryder: ARE YOU SERIOUS BRO!?!?! Like there's a choice here! This is reality, slapping you across your ugly faces man! The very same superstar who got booed by you, who got screwed out of his title at Fanniversary... That very same superstar is standing before you... Scratch that! Above you guys today with this award.

 

Zack scoffed.

 

Zack Ryder: I've always thought you people don't deserve me. At all. I've been hanging out with great looking women, on the best clubs across LI and the USA, getting Zacked, getting Tanned and doing my laundry... But today I've realized something.

 

Zack smirked.

 

Zack Ryder: You don't like my style, you didn't like my apprentices The Dudebusters, you were jealous of the Dashing Duo, and jealous of having me going out with the hottest woman in EBWF Stacy Keibler... Yet again nothing kept me from being undefeated, from winning this belt, and establishing a legacy in EBWF. I regret leaving EBWF, not because of you... But because I realized what I can do with EBWF... Wanna know what that is? Stay tuned. WOO. WOO. WOO. YOU KNOW IT! As for the award... Please paint it purple and have it mailed to me in Long Island!

 

Zack left the award on the podium, which had people laughing. The announcer's voice filled the room to introduce the next presenter.

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, already a winner tonight, the Path to Glory Champion, CM Punk.

 

Punk proceeded to the podium and spoke into the microphone.

 

CM Punk: When I got to the arena tonight I was told I'd have to present the Babe of the Year award, for whatever reason people seem to

think I have some experience regarding the Divas and their individual attractiveness. I have no idea what gave them that idea.

 

Punk raised his eyebrows to overwhelming laughter and continued.

 

CM Punk: The Babe of the Year is the EBWF Diva the EBWF Universe considers the hottest. The nominees are…

Announcer: Daffney, Trish Stratus, Nicole Ikeda, Torrie Wilson.

 

CM Punk: And the winner is… Nicole Ikeda.

 

The camera found Nicole at her table, seated with Randy Orton, John Cena, an unknown blonde and Edge. She blushed a little bit and proceeded to the stage area. She thanked Punk as he took the trophy from the trophy presented, and handed it to Nicole. She smiled up at him, and then went to the podium.

 

Nicole Ikeda: I know it's not the cool thing to do, but I kinda love bad boys with tattoos. So I kinda love me some CM Punk! Thanks Punk! My weekend has been made! This is a far cry from last year, I was so nervous and so… wow. Can I just say, I really, really love the EBWF Fans. Really, I do. These last two days at Fan Access have been just incredible, and I really do enjoy being your Babe of the Year.

Nicole looked down at her trophy.

Nicole Ikeda: It's been a long, hard year for me and for the EBWF. I'm so thankful to Joanie Helmsley, Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson for the way they cling to what's important and teach me everyday how to be a lady in this business. Got to thank my big brother, Wes for sharing some of the good genes with me. Much appreciated. Chris, John and Adam – you guys are my boys. You guys take care of me on the road and when I've just had too much. I owe so much to you. And Randy, for coming into my life and changing it in the best ways, every day. We got this. Thank you!

 

Nicole smiled warmly, and took her Slammy, returning to her seat.

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the EBWF Sky High Champion and the EBWF Women's Champion, Trish Stratus & Natalya.

 

Trish Stratus: Congratulations Nikki!

 

Natalya: Trish and I are here to present the award for Hottie of the Year.

 

Trish Stratus: Which is only fitting because the men we work with are so damn scrumptious.

 

Natalya: So, we just hand out awards for being good looking now… I mean…

 

Trish Stratus: Natalie, we're celebrating tonight. Take your anti-diva hat, and leave it at the table. Please.

 

Natalya shrugged and gave a slight smile.

 

Natalya: The nominees are…

 

Announcer: CM Punk, Randy Orton, Wes Ikeda and John Cena!

 

Natalya: And the winner is…

 

Trish Stratus: Wes Ikeda!

 

There was an awkward moment as the realization that Wes was not there to pick up his award spread through the Phillips Arena. However as Chris Jericho got to his feet, the atmosphere changed immediately. He walked up to the podium and pulled a speech out of his pocket, as if he had been expecting this.

 

Chris Jericho: You know, the Slammy Awards don't seem the same without Wes here. I know how much the Hottie award means to him though and I'm honored to be able to collect it on his behalf. I've never understood why so many people think Wes Ikeda is hot, but compared to John Cena, Randy Orton and CM Punk, I guess he's the lesser of four evils. However, not one of the four men nominated is as sexy as me.

 

Chris flashed his trademark grin and continued speaking.

 

Chris Jericho: It feels good to finally have my hands on a Hottie of the Year award... and to be honest, I think I might just keep it. After all,

Wes has more than enough of them. So I guess I should thank NBC for being such imbeciles and giving me a Slammy moment I'll never forget.

 

The crowd applauded Chris, in particular his cheap shot at NBC. He held the Slammy up proudly and then returned to his seat, but only long enough to put the Slammy down and return to the stage.

 

Chris Jericho: And now it is my honor to present the Entertain of the Year Award. The nominees are…

 

Announcer: John Cena, Brian Kendrick, Taylor Wilde and Wes Ikeda.

 

Chris Jericho: And the 2011 EBWF Entertainer of the Year is…. Taylor Wilde.

 

When Taylor was announced as the Entertainer of the Year she appeared on the stage, hopping and cheering. The audience couldn't help but laugh and applaud all of her energy as she stepped up to the podium and took the award.

 

Taylor Wilde: Yes, yes! I'm so happy to get this! Last year I wasn't even nominated for ANYTHING! Big difference a year makes, huh? I really am happy to have won, did I mention that already?

 

The crowd laughed again and Taylor tried to calm herself down and stop hopping in place.

 

Taylor Wilde: I'm entertained that I've entertained you! I hope I can keep doing so in 2011! I seriously would have had like amazing pyro and guest stars show up but I didn't think I was going to win! I'll put this up somewhere safe at home and I promise I won't let my pet rabbit Angel eat it. WOOO!

 

Taylor held the Slammy above her head in joy before sprinting off stage.

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, former EBWF Women's Champion…Torrie Wilson!

 

Torrie came out to the stage to loud applause, and proceeded to the microphone.

 

Torrie Wilson: Tonight, I have the honor of presenting the heel of the year award to the person who's the best at being bad. Your nominees are…

 

Announcer: Randy Orton, Brian Kendrick, CM Punk and Wes Ikeda.

 

Torrie Wilson: And your winner is… Brian Kendrick.

 

She turned around to look at the large screen. The camera cut to Brian Kendrick as he didn't seem to be amongst the live audience. He sat on a leather chair in a darkened room and lightly tapped a finger against his head.

 

Brian Kendrick: Oh. Hello. I'm Brian Kendrick and I'm far too busy to be there to accept this award in person. This is a pre-taped deal. If you didn't already know that then you are a magnificent retard.

 

He glanced to the Slammy Award that was resting on a small table next to him. He gently traced a finger across the golden figure.

 

Brian Kendrick: I'm the heel of the year. I'm supposed to say things like that, aren't I? You're all ugly. And poor. And your college sports or pro team sucks. And I would not allow your mothers to perform fellatio upon me for fear of catching some type of a disease.

 

Kendrick removed a piece of paper from his lap and squinted at it.

 

Brian Kendrick: Also..I would like to add that 'insert name of City hero here' is a prostitute. I can't actually be bothered to know where exactly this event is taking place. But thanks. I guess. I don't know how honored I'm supposed to be that I won the illustrious 'Person We Want To See Die The Most award'. You hate me. You really, really hate me. And to all the other nominees..take a look at how amazing this trophy is..and then go kill yourselves. Thank you.

 

He gave his Slammy a little peck on the top of its head as the tape ended, and the Slammy awards went to commercial once again.

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rated R Superstar, Edge!

 

Edge came out to the stage with a grin and an envelope in hand.

 

Edge: The face of the year is your favorite good guy, and these guys don't get much better. Your four Face of the Year Nominees are...

Announce: John Cena, Nicole Ikeda, Mr. Kennedy and Torrie Wilson.

 

Edge: And the winner is… John. Cena.

 

The words came out slow, and annoyed as John proceeded to the podium. The two men stared at each other for a moment, as they were less than 24-hour away from facing each other for the EBWF World Title at Wrestlemania.

 

John Cena: Wes Ikeda stole this from me last year and I swore I would go for ten times the number of cheap pops this year to make this award mine! So in your face Ikeda!

 

His response was met with laughter and he continued.

 

John Cena: This baby is proof positive that you can never be too corny or cheesy or make too big a fool of yourself for the sake of fan enjoyment. We have Randy Orton to punt babies and push Grandma into the street. Oh yeah I remember that little shout out at last year's Slammy Awards Orton. Thought I forgot didn't ya? Mind is like a safe son, like a safe! I have to give credit where credit is due though. I couldn't have won this award if I didn't have so many bad guys making me look so good. So Brian Kendrick? Thanks for making me look good in comparison when I stand next to you. Where were you when I needed you at the college parties? Seriously though, thank you to everyone who voted for me. You always wonder if what you are doing is hitting home to anyone. If anyone really cares if you are the guy that every hates or loves, hates to love or simply loves to hate. It means a lot to know that people still root for the good guys and hold out hope for happy endings and all the mushy stuff people like CM Punk work to squash. So again, thank you EBWF

Universe and Cenation! You guys aint seen nothin yet!

 

There was a loud bit of applause as the Slammy Awards went to commercial.

 

 

Congratulations to Miles and Jack winners of the Storyline of the Year Award for Punk –v- Kendrick. When Brian Kendrick returned to EBWF he quickly became a member of The Family, the frightening cult like group led by CM Punk and Dr. Stevie. Punk and Kendrick became tag team champions and the stable seemed poised for further success. But things were growing amiss. The members of The Family seemed to be drawn more towards Brian Kendrick's chaotic form of thinking rather than Punk's Straight Edge and very disciplined lifestyle. The partners had a growing distrust of one another which came to a head after they dropped their titles to Generation NXT. In order to become a member of The Family, a blood oath had to be taken and CM Punk demanded Brian Kendrick take his in front of a live audience. Instead, Punk and his cohorts found themselves covered in blood, dumped from the ceiling, courtesy of Brian Kendrick. Punk and Kendrick met in a violent First Blood match which saw Brian Kendrick come out victorious. Punk blamed his loss on his followers who all walked out on him following the loss, as well as long time partners Dr. Stevie and Daffney. With Punk gone, Raven reemerged. Raven, a former member of The Family, revealed that he had brought Brian Kendrick into group to destroy it from the inside after he had been thrown out by CM Punk some months ago. The two formed a union which began to attract others such as Tiffany and even Portia Perez. But Brian Kendrick, true to his unpredictable nature, turned on Perez and almost attacked her during a televised event. That was until a newly focused CM Punk returned and drove Kendrick and Raven from the ring. The two met once again with Punk coming out on top, breaking Kendrick's nose in the process, and obtaining a measure of revenge on Raven.

 

Congratulations to STEPH! Winner of the 2011 OOC Sportsman of the Year Award! EBWF Loves You Girlie!!

 

EBWF returned from commercial to an empty stage, a montage of the matches for Match of the Year began to play.

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, congratulations tonight to The Undertaker, The Miz, John Cena and Randy Orton for their MATCH OF THE YEAR the Cage of Death Match at the 2010 Christmas Eve of Destruction Pay-Per-View event. Now, ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome… the 9th Wonder of the World, Chyna. Joanie Helmsley!

 

Joanie came out onto the stage, looking like a queen as always. She approached the microphone and smiled, before stepping back and waving up at the fans in the upper bowl of the Phillips Arena.

 

Joanie Helmsley: The Women's Wrestler of the Year is the woman who has best furthered the Women's Division and worked hard to not only do for herself, but the other women in the Diva's locker room. It is my honor to present this award tonight. The nominees are…

 

Announcer: Torrie Wilson, Natalya, Trish Stratus, and Taylor Wilde.

 

Joanie Helmsley: And the winner is…

 

Joanie opened the envelope and smiled widely as she read the name.

 

Joanie Helmsley: Natalya!

 

Natalya stood up from her seat with a smile as her music played. Her smile was bright and genuine, and a far step away from the confident smirk she typically had in the ring. She walked up to the podium and Joanie handed her the Slammy trophy. Natalya and Joanie hugged, and Joanie walked off the stage, allowing Natalya to speak. Natalya placed the award on the podium and looked out to the crowd, who was giving her respectful applause. She looked at the trophy for a long while, and finally leaned toward the mic as the crowd died down.

 

Natalya: I uh… I know I ought to be coming out here and talking about how I deserve this, and no other woman on the roster holds a candle to me, but… wow. I am… completely overwhelmed right now. And there are so many reasons why. First off, I work with so many amazing and hard working women in the EBWF that the fact that I was chosen is just… wow.

 

Light applause from the crowd as Natalya exhaled deeply and fanned herself with her free hand, regaining composure.

 

Natalya: This is my dream job. It really is. I'm getting an award for doing something that I consider a privilege in and of itself to do. I mean, every single day I get to work with incredible, hard working women who come out and put on a great show for the fans. Women like Rayna and Portia, Michelle and Layla, Torrie and Jamilia. I also get to work with women who paved the way for us to wrestle in the mainstream. Trish Stratus, Lita, and my personal idol Joanie Helmsley…

 

Natalya paused as the crowd cheered loudly. She nodded and clapped along with them.

 

Natalya: These women took female wrestling and made it important and interesting, without sacrificing their integrity or their class to do it. All I can do is thank them by working as hard as I can to keep moving forward in the same direction. I am so honored to be working with all of these wonderful ladies, and I'm extremely proud to be receiving this award. Thank you everyone! YEAH, BABY!

 

Natalya smiled broadly and raised the trophy up to the applause of the crowd in attendance. She blew a kiss into the camera and inaudibly mouthed the words "I love you Dad!" before exiting the stage and returning to her seat. The camera panned back to Joanie who was still applauding Natalya's victory. She composed herself.

 

Joanie Helmsley: Well, that leaves one award left for tonight. The winner of which is inside this envelope I hold in my hand. However, tonight feels painfully incomplete. I have never given the Wrestler of the Year award, and tonight I can't help but feel like…

She looked down at the envelope sadly and sighed. Then a small grin crept onto her features.

 

Joanie Helmsley: … this isn't the year to buck tradition. Ladies and Gentlemen, Wes Ikeda!

 

"Sound of Madness" began to play, and Wes Ikeda came from somewhere backstage. The standing ovation started with the production crew hooting and hollering from the middle of the arena. It spread to the fans, and finally the talent. Wes stood uncomfortably accepting the applause before finally approaching the microphone.

 

Wes Ikeda: Are we still on the air?

 

There was laughter, and Wes continued.

 

Wes Ikeda: There's really got to be an easier way to get a standing ovation. It has been my honor and privilege to present the EBWF Wrestler of the Year award every year since there has been a Slammy's Broadcast, and I decided that tonight could be no different. Your 2011 EBWF Wrestler of the Year nominees are…

 

Announcer: CM Punk, John Cena, Randy Orton and Edge.

 

Wes stood with the envelope in hand and opened it, reading the name.

 

Wes Ikeda: Your winner is… Randy Orton.

 

Randy stood up as his music played and the massively mixed reaction that he always received poured out of the stands. He smirked and walked up to the stage, taking the podium. Wes and Randy shook hands, and Wes handed Randy the trophy before stepping aside and letting Randy take the floor. Randy surveyed the crowd as the applause ramped up for him. He smirked and leaned into the mic.

 

Randy Orton: Not sure I can beat the last act, but here it goes.

 

There was some laughter and applause for Wes in the seats and from the other wrestlers in attendance. Randy paused for a moment for the crowd to die down, then continued.

 

Randy Orton: 274 days. For 274 days, I was your EBWF World Champion. That's 39 weeks. 39 weeks where people came, and people went. Somewhere in the world a woman conceived, carried, and gave birth to a healthy baby in the time it took the EBWF brass to find someone to take the title from me. I did not just break the record. I shattered it. And that's why you've invited me here, today. To give me the highest honor of the night at the Slammy Awards.

 

Randy looked over the trophy for a brief moment.

 

Randy Orton: There are some people I wanted to thank though. First, of course, is the production crew.

 

The crew in the back cheered loudly, and it was picked up on the mic.

 

Randy Orton: Thank you for doing such a great job at making me look amazing. I know, not difficult. But thanks anyway. Also, I wanted to thank Joanie Helmsley, who kept the ship running smooth when everyone knows that the water's been a little… choppy.

Randy's smirk faded temporarily.

 

Randy Orton: Third, I wanted to thank someone whom without their support I probably wouldn't even be here, much less your 2010 Wrestler of the Year.

 

Randy turned a very specific direction and looked directly at Nicole Ikeda, who was sitting at one of the front tables.

 

Randy Orton: Thank you babe. For everything.

 

The crowd cheered at his on camera acknowledgement of their relationship. Randy looked back out to the crowd.

 

Randy Orton: Finally, I wanted to thank myself. Because without me, the only fully sleeved superstar that you'd all have to look at is CM Punk, and that's just disappointing. Thank you.

 

Randy stepped down from the podium as his music hit again, taking his trophy with him and returning to his seat. The camera went back to Wes, who was all smiles.

 

Wes Ikeda: Thank you. Thank you very much. Congratulations Randy, Natalie and all the other winners here tonight. Chris, I'm coming for that trophy man! Here's to another great year. We'll see you tomorrow night live from the Georgia Dome for Wrestlemania X! Blaine… go to bed. From the entire EBWF… goodnight everybody.